12502

Joke of the Day

"My annual performance review says I lack ""passion & intensity"", guess management hasn't seen me alone with a Big Mac."

"Tip: if you often say things like ""there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence"" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers."

"Sometimes i feel like girls are like oscars And im leonardo dicaprio :("

"Roses are red, violets are yellow, lilacs are cyan, carnations are rainbowish, this LSD pill is lovely."

"Two dogs are arguing And one of them says ""Well your mom's a bitch!"""

"A jew just won the nobel prize. what do you say to him? congrajulations Edit: do those who downvoted know the real spelling of congratulations ?"

"Women Studies? im pretty good at studying women *leans against bookshelf knocking it over. Creates a domino effect that destroys t/ library*"

"If tampons are ""sanitary napkins""... ...how unsanitary must regular napkins be?"

"You look like the grinch with plastic surgery gone wrong!"

"[courtroom] Lawyer: If you didnt bite that surfers leg THEN WHO DID Shark: I'm telling you idk *whale in the audience opens a big newspaper*"