205696

Joke of the Day

"My manicurist mother and dentist father didn't like each other... They fought tooth and nail all the time."

"My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time."

"It's a do or dive for Robben as Netherlands play Argentina in the semifinals."

"I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow"

"She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen"

"I cracked two jokes earlier about Malaysian Airways. The first got no response and the second crashed and burned."

"What do troll mathematicians like to solve? Parabolems?"

"What's the difference between parsley.... and pussy? Nobody eats parsley anymore."

"I like my men like I like my external hard drives... Solid state, and to dump all my history on. history"

"Do not blow kisses to loved ones. Ghosts intercept them mid-flight and put them on their butts."