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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a phobia of machetes? Common sense"
Next Joke
"I have CDO It's like OCD, but the letters are in order. Like they should be."
"I like my women like I like my hard drives... FAT and 32."
"Added my sticker to the family on the back of your van I am in your family now you have to bring me to costco every time you go."
"Nice hourglass figure, girl. Wanna come back to my place and stand on your head so my friends and I can keep time while we play Pictionary?"
"Worst Betrayals in History: - Judas turning on Jesus - Brutus helping to murder Caesar - Verizon guy going to work for Sprint"
"A guy goes to his Rabbi to price a circumcision... He says, ""Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?"" And the Rabbi says, ""Not much, I just keep the tips."""
"A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD"
"If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless; I'd be worth something by now."
"My Wife Saw Me Licking A Yogurt Lid And Said ""Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?"" ""Because Yogurt Tastes Better"" The Divorce Is Next Tuesday"