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Joke of the Day
"The only real importance in life is getting ahead. Head. I meant to say head."
Next Joke
"I bet if a renaissance artist traveled through time to a modern museum, they'd be like: ""Uh-oh. Someone leaked my nudes."""
"Twitter gives me this paranoid feeling that I am being followed."
"I walked into a room full of men masturbating They all looked shocked when I didn't stop"
"Some day, Canada will take over the world. And then we'll all be sorry."
"I hate when people ask me where I see myself in 3 years. I'm blind"
"My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don't exist. He's busy vacuuming now."
"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."
"Why doesn't Pakistan have its national football team? Whenever they get a corner, they will set up a shop."
"For Sale: Golden Retriever, Had for 9 months has yet to retrieve any gold. Should just bought metal detector! Unbelievable."