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Joke of the Day

"Pedophiles may be bad people... ... but at least they drive slow through the school zones"

"M: If my chip:salsa ratio isn't perfectly even, I will burn down this restaurant, I swear to God. H: This is our house. M: I SWEAR TO GOD!"

"What an Idea..!!! My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory. Why didn't I think of that?"

"They're creepy and they're kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky The Twitter Family *click click*"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get support soon, people will think we are nuts."

"Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him? A: To see how long he slept."

"""Blown out of all proportion"" ... .. is a cliche you don't see every day of the week."

"When I get home from work, I like to pack myself into really small suitcases. I can hardly contain myself."

"So i was making a software to help people to stop procrastinating and never finished it."

"DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery."