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Joke of the Day

"I think I met a medieval water snake But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream. It was totally Sir Eel."

"What did Kim Jon Un say when his father died? Looks like his Korea is over"

"Here's to the kisses that I snatched, and Vice versa. Bottoms up fellas."

"Why can't a t-Rex clap it's hands? Because it's extinct."

"They should hire people to stand in Times Square and yell ""WALK FASTER!"""

"I just saw a girl hang half her body out the window of her car to give someone the finger. She is my spirit animal."

"I've started wearing a stethoscope around my neck... So, if there's a medical emergency I get to teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions based on someone's appearance."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.... Jill came down with two fifty."

"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""

"Condoms are like rules... ...they're made to be be broken."