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Joke of the Day

"Why do other moms at the playground get all snotty if you ask their husband to push you when you're on a swing?"

"I Used To Date A Girl With A Lazy Eye... Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything"

"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud.. But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them."

"Back in my day a ""selfie,"" was something you did with the door locked and a bottle of lotion."

"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together."

"The past, present and future walked into a bar... ... it was tense."

"*school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm"

"A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods The bear asks the rabbit - ""do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"" ""Nope"" So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit."

"If a fireman's job can go up in smoke, and a plumbers job can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?!"