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Joke of the Day
"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together."
Next Joke
"Sometimes u see the moon during the day and it's like, wow, how embarrassing. Showed up early because you were bored? Get a life, nerd moon."
"A hamburger walks into a bar (don't know if repost) And the bartender says ""sorry but we don't serve food here""!"
"I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver."
"Have you seem the movie ""constipation""? Of course not, it hasn't come out yet! -Repost from r/funny-"
"*cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*"
"When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work"
"Q. Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? A. The Ultrasound Guy http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sound&defid=491809"
"My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore."
"What do you call an X-Games athlete who placed dead last? A louger."