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Joke of the Day

"The espresso bar tech visited today... They adjusted my grind, turned up the heat, and blew out my steam wand."

"I try to do my job the way I have sex. Work fast and and get done quick"

"How do you fit 6 million Jews into a car? Send them to clown school."

"TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall."

"Why did the cow drink his own milk? He needed the cowlcium."

"About a year ago I told my friend there's plenty of fish in the sea. Last I heard he is still sitting there holding his rod."

"No one in traffic ever catches me eatin boogers cause u all textin and drivin"

"What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word ""and"" say about candy that caused such a hubbub? Mike Ike's are my least favorite."

"What did the depressed plankton do? It krilled iself!"

"My wife treats me like GOD!! She takes no notice of my existence till she wants something."