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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar... Ouch"

"Therapist: ""I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?"" Me: ""I can't say I do."" Therapist: ""That's one of them."""

"""I think we should stab other people."" - Masochists breaking up"

"Whenever a girl is talking too much, remind yourself that other thing she does with her mouth that you like so much. Might dull the pain ;)"

"Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's"

"Love your neighbor, but don't get caught."

"Hannibal Lector must have slept around... I heard he was quite the man-eater."

"If you were locked in a room with Trump and Clinton And it was just you, them, and a pistol with one bullet... Which one would you shoot and which would you bludgeon to death with the pistol?"

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"So apparently you're supposed to change the lint filter in the dryer more than once a year firemen are hot"