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Joke of the Day

"How many potatoes does it take to kill the Irish? None"

"What's red and has two legs? Half a cat"

"I was thinking of ways to become transgender... So I figured I'd fly to Paris. Because then I'd be abroad."

"Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!"

"Pretty cool to think every time the Verizon guy said ""Can you hear me now?"" the NSA was quietly answering ""Yes we can."""

"I want to open a Reserve to breed, arm and train West Lowland Gorillas to fight Jihadists. I'm going to call it Boko Harambe"

"What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm? Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour."

"I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks ""I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it."" - Mr. Manager Cordially, Mrs. Team Lead"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? because his wife died."

"My housemate told me to get something to the front page of reddit I should just recycle... It'll take a lot more than that to get me to take the bins out!"