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Joke of the Day

"Math Teacher: ""If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"" Student: ""A drinking problem."""

"My Mother texted me and asked ""What does TTYL mean?""... I replied, ""Talk to you later"". So she responded, ""No! Talk to me now! What does it mean?"""

"What goes round the middle of the Internet? The e-quator."

"I don't have to put up with this, I'm a grown ass man ... I used to be an adolescent ass man; I've never wavered in a T&A debate."

"What sound does a bomb make before it goes off? allahu ackbar!!"

"A man goes to the library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian stares at him for a while and then asks ""But who is going to bring it back?"""

"I always buy a woman a popsicle on the first date to get a feel for how things might go later."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens."

"I'm not saying I'm a bad cook. But how long does pasta stay in the toaster?"

"Once you go black... Single mother for life."