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Joke of the Day

"If Lord of the Rings starred Denzel Washington.... ...then at least there would be a Tolkien black guy."

"Opinions are like butts *gently rubs your opinion*"

"Why Hitler died? Because he saw the gas facture."

"Forget about whether or not you have curves, real women have brains."

"Calling a girl ""honey"" is ok. Calling a girl ""bee vomit"" is not ok. I'm a relationship expert."

"What's it called when you poke a Scantron to make it laugh? A test tickle."

"I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes - ""open bar"""

"A young nun is sewing a hole in a sock... ...when she pricks her finger with the needle. - Shit! - Crap, I said shit! - Damn, I said crap! - Aw, fuck it. I never wanted to become a nun, anyways."

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"

"Did you hear they're republishing that Simple Mathematics study guide? It's the revised edition. (Revise Addition)"