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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an American and a British prostitute?... ...one pounds for work the other works for pounds"

"I long for the days when waking up with a ""stiff one"" wasn't referring to my lower back."

"A Roman walks into a bar He holds two fingers up to the barman and says ""five beers please"""

"What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!"

"My boss accused me of having OCD... I soon put him in his place."

"I just moved into an apartment above a jazz club... I was sick of paying for sax."

"My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42. She said, ""You told me that you were 28 and a half!"" I said, ""I am if you think about it."""

"""Owen, you must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker at all costs."" ""Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?"" ""That's cool."""

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Cut the brake lines on his Prius."

"Two cannibals were having lunch. ""Your wife makes a great soup"" said one to the other. ""Yes!"" agreed the first. ""But I'm going to miss her terribly."""