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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what a true competitor is? [NSFW] It's a guy who enters a masturbation contest and comes in first, third and ninth."

"My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba Dum Tss!"

"First rule of double entendre club is please let us know if you're coming"

"I'm a human alarm clock so when I wake up this early for no reason, I punch myself in the face to turn myself off."

"What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster? A wake-up call!"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great Food! No atmosphere."

"A Comprehensive Guide on How to be Like Jesus 1. Be a carpenter. 2. Be a nice guy. 3. ??? 4. Prophet."

"Why'd the air resistance committed suicide? Because he's always being neglected"

"Do you know why you shouldn't wear Ukrainian underpants? Chernobyl fall out."