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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what a true competitor is? [NSFW] It's a guy who enters a masturbation contest and comes in first, third and ninth."

"I was never into long-distance masturbation... But now look how far I've come!"

"Feminists: Look on the bright side... There will be more women in the White House than ever!"

"Dark Jokes are like food. Not everyone gets it."

"Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans? Choosing dog food is hard."

"I lost my wife in a bet I bet I could sleep with her sister"

"One terrorist says to another: ""Did you hear, Malala is single?..."" ""...you should take a shot."""

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer... ... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more? An extractor fan"

"Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn't know you did that for fun."