124299

Joke of the Day

"Schools should teach kids how to balance a checkbook & basic car maintenance & how to hide a drinking problem. Regular life stuff ya know."

"What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon? Sow-r dough bread."

"Al Gore to protest Amy Winehouse funeral... Something that toxic should not be going in the ground!"

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? Because the head is so high up."

"If you can't hear me it's because I'm in parentheses."

"The first question aliens will ask our leaders is why that peanut is wearing a top hat and monocle."

"What is batman's favorite food? BANANANANANANANANANANA"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, that's probably a good, isolated spot to commit crimes."

"[wakes up from a 72-year-long coma] oh nazis are still a thing huh"

"I got an oven today. It's pretty hot, isn't it?"