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Joke of the Day

"Whats the V in DVD stand for? Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)"

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"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He's a serial killer named Terrence Fishman & he plans to kill you Monday"
"How has Gordon Ramsey come to have so many children?? FUCKING RAAAWWWW!!"
"Lady Astronaut: *eats all the chocolate* Guy Astronaut: You know we're on the space shuttle for- LA: SHUTTLE YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE ME SPACE"
"What are homeless ducks always asking for? A lil bit of quack"
"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing."
"What is the difference between Issac Newton and the 5 year old i just stabbed to death? Issac Newton died a virgin."
"What does the closed sign at a brothel say? Beat it, we're closed."
"What do you call a really fast seamstress? Tailor Swift"
"Medical problems are the #1 cause of death."
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