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Joke of the Day
"""I'm a great listener."" - The US government on a first date."
Next Joke
"It's only fitting that God would be a woman... since space is a vacuum."
"83% of white folks stressing about their court dates are referring to tennis."
"How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed."
"My friend told me he wanted to plant an orchard. I told him to grow a pear."
"What is the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Hitler had big hands"
"What is the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."
"Saw a sticker that said ""my son was an honor student"". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now"
"My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck"
"A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn't know it was even possible to be this jealous."