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Joke of the Day

"Scientists hard at work to find out what the other 98% of 2% milk is: ""Probably not bees,"" says one scientist. ""Dear god what if it's bees?"""

"I had a debate with myself about masturbation... ... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!"

"Why is there no Mexican olympics? Because everyone that can swim, run and jump is already across the border."

"Dates are like golf strokes The fewer it takes for you to score, the better your game."

"Saw my ex... Please. She needs to die."

"Why did the old man throw the matress out the window? Dementia"

"You Gotta Hand It to Leprechauns Because they Can't Reach It!"

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"

"I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship."

"My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed. Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists."