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Joke of the Day

"My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth"

"I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*."

"What's the difference between princess Diana and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods has a better driver"

"Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it."

"What's the number one comeback on r/Jokes? Riposte."

"your momma so stupid she got locked in a groceiry store and starved."

"""Have they tried turning him off and then on again?"" - Me, suggesting a cure for Stephen Hawking."

"How does a carpenter effectively build stairs? He thinks one step ahead"

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to ""Dick"". Especially since his name is Steve."

"[having daughter's new boyfriend (who I think is a caveman) over for dinner] so dave, how is work? *lights candle and watches his reaction*"