124100

Joke of the Day

"Who won the race between two balls of string? They we're tied!"

"Frank has no arms. **Knock knock who's there?** Not Frank."

"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."

"I once had a small part in a porn movie. It was cold that day."

"Apostrophes are important. ""I fed the dog"" ""I f'ed the dog"" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it."

"Studies show people who carry tactical knives with flashlights are less confident guessers. They never take a stab in the dark."

"Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs"

"Viagra thieves did you hear about the viagra thieves? The cops are looking for a group of hardened criminals"

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory! I only took a day off!"

"Eve: I got an Apple. Adam: ... Eve: ... Adam: ... Eve: What? Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android. Eve: The serpent said this was better."