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Joke of the Day
"Ever ask yourself who, in a perfect world, would raise a child? The answer should be apparent."
Next Joke
"What is Pat Sajak's favorite Christmas carol? No L"
"Already resenting that I have to wake up tomorrow."
"Of course women are funny. Why else would there be so many jokes about them."
"A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend."
"Damn girl, are you a Muse song? Because on the outside you're ablaze and alive, but you're dead inside."
"A friend asked me if it was wrong for him to send messages to himself online in order to appear more popular on social media I said ""No, go on, tweet yourself."" Shamelessly stolen from Jimmy Carr."
"What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him."
"I don't want to brag but unlike most men I need both hands for a wank . One for the magnifying glass and one for the tweezers."
"Girlfriends are like phone apps They come with in-app purchases, and need the reassurance of updates to function well."