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Joke of the Day

"There was time in the old west A dog with three legs walks into a saloon, he slams open the doors, looks around at the startled patrons and asks, ""Anyone seen my PAW?"""

"What do you call a Mexican rolling in sand? A churro."

"[with father in law] ""You know how to pluck a goose, son?"" Er yes sir, sure do *stretches goose's neck and plays it like a double bass*"

"[Ouija Board] Me: Spirit, answer this one questiondo you like me? Board: R E A D 1 2 : 3 7 P M"

"I went to my dad and asked him... Me: hey dad will you watch a movie I'm going to cast in Dad : no Me: why? Dad: I don't watch porn"

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder."

"Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"I left a tube of superglue in my pocket when I did laundry yesterday... ...it was a viscous cycle."

"Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team."

"My Taiwanese friend is very intense and driven: He has a real Taipei personality"