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Joke of the Day

"What idiot called it the ""Happy Birthday"" song instead of New Age music"

"I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... ...all it was doing was gathering dust."

"I'm at the vets..... A man opposite me weeps with an empty cage in his arms. I'd be crying too if I were that forgetful."

"- The DC Cinematic Universe"

"Go deep throat a cactus."

"What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows."

"If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say ""I've gotta take this"" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested."

"Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve' he said in the letter. 'Why?' asked his mother in her reply. 'Because that's what all the kids at camp call me' he wrote back."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a six offender."