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Joke of the Day

"Just got a holiday card from a doctor addressed to the dead guy who used to live here. Sending back a card that says ""You suck at your job."""

"If you think you're bad with words, imagine the first guy to say ""There there"" when consoling someone"

"Why are modern women more likely to pursue a STEM degree? They need to learn scientific notation to keep track of their n-count."

"Indian man's pick up line Once you go brown you never turn around..."

"I wish I was born in a year ending in zero so it'd be easier to remember how old I am. Thanks for following."

"Sarc... ...It is my second favorite asm. (And nobody fucking fainted)"

"i forgot the word ""whirlpool"" so i had to search the internet for ""drain tornadoes"""

"""You seen my cell phone?...What's it look like? Like two horses fucking. It's a phone, son. It looks like a phone."""

"Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??"

"Where does a homeless accountant live? In a tax shelter."