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Joke of the Day

"Fuck the man And make him a sandwich."

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"A girl asked her brother If he could help her move her stuff to her new house and he refused and she asked him why He said he couldn't be her brother and assister too"
"9/11 Never Forget About Dre."
"ADHD is ADD in high definition."
"My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."
"Girls are only after me for my money. That is why no girls are after me."
"Hey Dad, The airport called, if you don't turn down your TV, they're filing a complaint."
"How do trees browse the internet? They log in."
"What did they call that ancient philosopher from China who quoted a lot about a woman's pussy? cuntfucius"
"Why did the armadillo cross the road? It didn't, it made it halfway and then got hit by a truck."