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Joke of the Day

"""Mommy, why does an old person's skin look so see-through?"" Aw, honey, it's just because they are getting ready to be a ghost. Sleep tight."

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"Why do women spend less time in prison than men? Because a period ends a sentence."
"Gender math Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage"
"A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw] She just wanted to get one more load in."
"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler I woke up exhausted"
"What did The Beatles say when a hot but unexpected guest showed up at their bukkake party? Here comes the sun!"
"What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor."
"Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace"
"What do you call a gay midget? Sweet and Low"
"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."