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Joke of the Day

"No officer, Vodka and I were hanging out and this car decided to join us."

"If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply ""I'm a lunatic"" they won't ask any more questions."

"Studies have shown... (NSFW) 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape."

"How do you get 100 jews into a car? Toss a penny in, how do you get them out? tell hitler is driveing the car."

"I like my women like I like my third games in a series by Valve... I think they're gonna be great, but they never seem to come."

"For some reason, the Disney movie ""101 Dalmatians"" was much more popular than it's sequel ""Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."""

"How about instead of shaking hands we nod at each other and that way we both won't have to wash our hands?"

"Want to hear the corniest poop joke ever? No? Too late."

"Thank you, possum, for rustling outside the window when some show about serial killers is on. It really helped with my insomnia."

"Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn't stop that murder."