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Joke of the Day

"A man drives his truck and runs over a woman. Whose fault is it? His fault. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen."

"My lame brother and his friends dressed up as european sausages tonight! He's the wurst."

"My son is so lazy he's went from playing video games on the computer to watching other people play video games on the computer."

"My clients have a 86% survival rate, which makes me an above-average babysitter."

"How do you find King Arthur in the dark? With a knight light...."

"A Scotsman invented the first condom. It was made out of a sheep's intestine. Not too long after, the British improved on it by first removing the intestine from the sheep."

"Apple Watches your money go into their pocket."

"Did you know that if you squint at a cat and it squints back, it's the cat's way of saying ""What the f are you looking at?!"""

"I don't think Princess Elsa would be a very good girlfriend, She seems frigid."

"My friend thinks he is smart ! My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."