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Joke of the Day

"A cannibal is just a foodie who likes other foodies."

"wife: ""remember when i said you were too friendly all the time?"" me: [making cup of tea] ""no im not"" burglar: ""two sugars please"""

"Have anyone heard that band The Prevention? They are WAY better than The Cure."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup ! Yes it's the rotting meat that attracts them !"

"You should need a license to be that ugly."

"The get rich or die trying philosophy on life is going terribly one sided for me."

"Guy: girl are you a newspaper? Girl: no why? Guy: because there's a new issue with you every fucking day."

"A little poetry never killed anybody. But haiku keeps trying."

"Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a ""thirsty boy"""

"Why didn't the sun go to college? He already had 28 billion degrees."