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Joke of the Day

"Skateboarding has its pros and cons."

"If comedy is tragedy plus time... The holocaust is the funniest thing ever."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but I don't know how they'd get in there."

"hello and welcome to Fantasy Football *Dumbledore passes ball to Frodo* *Gandalf intercepts football and eats it*"

"Warning, offensive. Why was Hitler so concerned about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million jews waiting for him in hell."

"How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it is going to about 7 episodes."

"If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now."

"ok open your eyes!! ""are those.. are those dead bunnies? what the fu-"" Febreze Air Effects. haha. covered it up well? ""im calling the cops"""

"How are women like rocks? You skip the flat ones."