123335
Joke of the Day
"Stop the presses! My paninis can wait."
Next Joke
"Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?"
"My dick may be short... ...but it sure is skinny."
"[helping my kid with contractions] Me: Would've Her: Would have M: Nice. I'll H: I will M: Good. Won't H: Won not M: Excellent"
"Spice up Christmas shopping by entering random fitting rooms, waiting 5 minutes, then yelling, ""Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"""
"I hate every child in a commercial."
"ROAR Did you here about the lion joke it will make you ROAR!!!"
"What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget? Tom Cruise"
"Being drunk was nice because it gave me an excuse for why I'm such an asshole."
"When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age."