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Joke of the Day

"What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail? A foot long"

"Mom asked about a stock she's owned for 20yrs called Amazon & I've mostly been telling her I love her & reminding her my brother never calls"

"*Interviewing for waiter position* I feel like I bring a lot to the table"

"What do rabbis call the leftovers of a circumcision? Debris."

"I saved $38 by moving the fish tank in front of the TV during ""Ellen"" and telling my kids it was Finding Dory."

"I'm so chuffed with myself! I just completed a puzzle in 40 minutes The box said 3-4 years"

"Hey websites, I will always ""skip intro"", so knock it off."

"Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism"

"What do you call two crows standing side by side? Attempted murder."

"Actually, I'd rather you shut your talk-hole, not your pie-hole. If you have a hole that gives pie, I'm going in there, because HELLO PIE."