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Joke of the Day

"What do you call scriptures for blind people? The holy braille"

"If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier."

"Im a bit hurt that my friends told me I'm condescending. Condescending is a big word that means you talk down to people."

"The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling"

"I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, ""Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a shit driver""."

"Did you hear the joke about the jump rope? Eh nevermind, I'll just skip it."

"Leaving early on a Friday and saying, ""Have a good weekend!"" to people who have to work a full day is like dancing in front of a paraplegic."

"Is cyanide the most efficient way to kill someone? Asking for a fiend."

"My dad told me his New Years resolution was to embrace his mistakes. He hugged my sister and I :("

"*Guy tries giving me his phone number* Me: Oh no thank you. I already have one"