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Joke of the Day

"Crack-head's favorite rap song... I wanna rock RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up."

"*In church 9: [Whispers] Why do we have to keep sitting & standing and sitting & standing... Me: [Whispers] So we don't fall asleep 9: oh"

"Oxygen and Magnesium are going out OMg!!"

"How many metal drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, but it takes 32 lightbulbs."

"Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself ""I can't believe I'm recording this"""

"I am suffering from Tinnitus Feminale... ... Everytime a women moves her lips, I hear a loud ringing."

"RT if you just read Facebook for the ads"

"Use promo code 'NETFLIX' to get 50% off your grades."

"With the Germany Argentina final on the way, we will finally know which one of the two Popes is God's favorite."