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Joke of the Day

"You guys ever see a mannequin and think she's completely out of your league?"

"When does a horse talk on the phone? Whinny wants to!"

"This is your captain speaking... **AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!**"

"Look guys i thought a gangbang was where we all played drums together, i don't want any part of whatever's happening here"

"Anal sex is like a big red button with ""do not push"" on it... You know you shouldn't, butt fuck it."

"Why was the whittler banned from his synagogue? Because he made his rabbi a little cross."

"i'm trying to lose weight so i ordered a salad and i immediately got annoyed thinking about the salad i would have to eat."

"""Knock knock"" Who's there? ""Russia"" Russia who? ""Get out of the house. I live here now."""

"Me: You're such a good boy. Dog: *tail wagging* Please leave the room so I can eat the couch."

"I was walking past the supermarket when I saw a sign saying, ""All items: a third off."" I bought a dozen eggs but unfortunately 4 of them were bad."