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Joke of the Day

"[at daycare] Me: I'm here to pick up my son Daycare: what's he look like? Me: *points to my face* D: oh. Ok"

"Have you ever eaten an eyeball? Neither have I."

"The girl at the Baskins-Robbins thinks Leonardo da Vinci was ""in that Titanic movie"". Now my ice cream tastes like stupid."

"Of course, Lil' Wayne isn't his real name. It's Lillian Waynard."

"What do you call the richest person in the soup industry? A boullionaire"

"What's a panda's favorite kitchen dish? A pan....duh"

"""Update the force, Luke"" Adobe Wan Kenobi"

"KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week"

"What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew."

"I'm starting a new diet. It's called 2 Dollars a day until the end of the month."