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Joke of the Day
"No YOU'RE the stalker. (I write on your work bathroom mirror in blood)"
Next Joke
"Guess what? Dickbutt"
"[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut."
"I'm sorry I said ""sorry about your eyebrows"" when you showed me your wedding photos"
"*goes down on one knee* One Knee: I have a girlfriend"
"Why Marriage is Difficult Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings ... and lawyers."
"Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween ? It was for 'tick or tweet' !"
"Just got a houseplant. Can't wait til it grows a house."
"I find certain races unattractive... Marathons are one thing, but triathlons seem like too much trouble."
"264 students died in a school fire... in Beijing earlier today. The most tragic thing was they all got out safely, ran around the building, and then ran back inside."