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Joke of the Day
"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin dating Chris Brown."
Next Joke
"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only cums once a year"
"Girls call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."
"From now on, I'm referring to my ex girlfriends as ""yesterbae's."""
"I decided to have scrambled eggs this morning... Immediately after thinking ""I'll just flip this omelette."""
"What do they teach in ISIS business school? Execution is everything."
"How is a hailstone like an onion? -They are both whitish and have layers"
"The best thing about dating someone with a barbed wire tattoo is knowing that you won't be known as their ""worst regret"" when you break up."
"I wish I felt as much passion for something as my dogs feel towards the doorbell."
"I THINK [boyfriend goes by] YOU'RE TOO [boyfriend goes by] YOUNG FOR ME [boyfriend goes by] -me breaking up w/ my boyfriend at the carousel"