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Joke of the Day

"Why type of lightning likes to play sports? -Ball lightning"

"Cops said my blood alcohol level was above the legal limit which is crazy because I don't even drink blood alcohol."

"A friend of ours is practicing baking apple pies. She brings them over to our house and later asks us how we liked it. I tell her ""You need more practice."""

"Did you guys hear about the new exorcist movie? where the woman hires the devil to pull the priest out of her son."

"The 'S' should be silent in Scrapbooking."

"A superposition walks into a bar . . . . . . or ***did*** it???"

"*intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had garbanzo bean on my face."

"Throw stones at people who live in glass houses. They won't throw them back because they've been told their whole life that they shouldn't."

"What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it."