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Joke of the Day

"we should be using all the time technology frees up to expand language, not shorten it. instead of 'prolly' try 'probababably.'"

"I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems"

"Women's rights."

"How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan"

"I've got a problem with people who are into BDSM I just want to strangle them."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver? The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: ""Damn it!"" The bad sky diver goes ""Damn it!"" ::Whack::"

"Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space? Because he was scared of vacuums!"

"Thor isn't able to stay in hiding long He's not a very loki guy (yeah, still a bit iffy on the wording)"

"What do you call a chicken going to the moon? Apollo 11"

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."