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Joke of the Day

"Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine."

"Where do you find Klingons? On Uranus."

"Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day"

"What's better than roses on my piano? tulips on my organ."

"Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive."

"When a celebrity dies, who's the helpful psychopath that immediately changes all the ""is""s to ""was""s on their Wikipedia page?"

"My dog does back-flips when the Raiders kick a field goal....... my buddy asked me what he does when they score a touch-down and I told him I didn't know, I've only had him for 6 years."

"I met a guy named Richard... I said, ""Can I call you Ritchie or are you gonna be a Dick about it?"""

"How do you start a rave in Ethopia??? You staple food on the ceilings."

"She asked for my name, if I'm alone, had me remove belt/shoes & take out what I have in my pants. Interactions w/TSA agents are underrated."