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Joke of the Day

"Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading."

"Two jumper cables walk into a bar.. The bartender says ""I'm gonna serve you guys, but you have to promise not to start something""."

"Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed."

"If anyone has a good fishing pun... Let minnow."

"Have you ever been on the Nile River? I heard it does on for miles and niles and niles... If you don't believe me, you may be in denial."

"I feel so bad for all these women that give me their phone numbers and when I call the line has been disconnected This economy is ruthless."

"Philosophers have really good depth perception!"

"Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me."

"What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside ? A mouse sandwich !"

"This Subreddit."