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Joke of the Day

"A 5-year old boy approaches his father saying, ""Dad, I know the woman I want to marry."" ""Oh yeah, who is it?"" He replies, ""Grandmaw."" ""You can't marry my mother!"" ""Why not? YOU MARRIED MINE!"""

"My wife told me I had to choose My wife walked in and told me I had to choose. Her or reddit.... I'm sure going to miss her."

"Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic"

"A telemarketer called and said,""can I speak with the man of the house."" I replied, ""sure"" and gave the phone to the cat."

"Polish remover Hitler. The game Sequence has a wicked sense of humor."

"A pirate walks into a bar The bar tender notices that he has a ships wheel sticking out of the front of his pants, he asks ""doesn't that bother you"". And the pirate says ""arrrr it's drivin me nuts"""

"What do you call a gay New Zealander? A Kiwi Fruit."

"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power"

"""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?"" ""Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"" ""Not this time. Our dog died."""

"How best to save the iPhone from FBI? Crack it before they hack it."