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Joke of the Day

"The only people that get more concussions than NFL players... ...Are their wives"

"Judge: Did you commit murder? Me: I'm a man. I'm afraid of commitment. Judge: hahaha! Me: hahaha! Judge: Life."

"I hate hipsters Their vegan diets, whiskery faces, tiny feet, and sawdust bedding. Oh wait, hamsters, I hate hamsters"

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing."

"I used to have a problem choking on my food all the time Now I only eat cheerios and life savers"

"A blonde said to her friend while driving ""I got a compliment on my driving today,"" said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said ""parking fine""."

"One thing that watching cartoons have taught us. Gravity only works if you look down."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? Russell."

"First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it."

"Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races. So they called it Running Dummy."