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Joke of the Day

"Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!"

"What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know, and I don't care one way or the other."

"What do you call an angry pastry? A croissant"

"How do you stop volcanoes from erupting? Give them earth control pills*!* heh heh heh..."

"""Son, if you keep masturbating like that you're going to go blind!"" Dad, I'm over here."

"Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists... They did unspeakable things to me."

"Dear lord thank you for these noodles I'm about to eat, ramen"

"What was an elephant doing on the freeway? About 5 miles per hour."

"Is it solipsistic in here? or is it just me?"

"Gave my seat to a blind man on the bus Lost my job as a bus driver."