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Joke of the Day

"Open Window Mrs: Hello, please send a MAINTENANCE personnel!! my husband will jump on the window!! Hurry up!! Administrator: Mam why maintenance? Mrs:Bec. the window did not open.."

"What do you call a manager that hasn't grown up yet? A kidager"

"Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics? Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA."

"He tells the punchline first. What's the worst thing about a time traveling comedian?"

"The number of things I feel compelled to sniff before I buy, is slightly embarrassing."

"I went to a disco last night... (mildly NSFW) They played The Twist, so I did the twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen I got kicked out."

"It would be rather appropriate to die during sex. We come *into* this world naked and screaming..."

"Girls can be so ungrateful. I make her breakfast in bed and instead of saying ""Thank you"" she is all like ""How did you get into my house?"""

"What do you do if the lights in a Chinese food restaurant are too bright? Dim Sum."

"Developing an app that redirects you to twitter if you click on any other app on your phone cause obviously it was a mistake. You're welcome"