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Joke of the Day

"""Why are you so excited?"" the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. ""But doc this is my first operation."" ""Really? It's mine too and I am not excited at all."""

"I heard they're making a revival of a show once Donald Trump is elected I'm going to love watching the new Orange is the New Black."

"Most people in America seem to always wanna prove that they're right! Left-wingers hate it."

"Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants."

"Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes."

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke... She'd say ""Knock knock"", we'd say ""Who's there?"". Then she'd say ""I can't remember""... and start to cry."

"give us a pickup line related to your profession WITHOUT revealing your profession. we'll try to guess I might have posted in the wrong sub Reddit. let me know if we should move it!"

"Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium? He tripped a fan"

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

"Whats the worst part about being a news reporter? The shootings"