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Joke of the Day

"Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance? A: To a meatball."

"Well, they warned me that I'd go blind if I kept doing that... Sitting too close to the TV."

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys. I thought she was kidding... ...and then I saw her face."

"50 shades of grey Girl 1: Hey have you read 50 shades of grey yet? Girl 2: Yes! From cover to cover! Girl 1: And the index? Girl 2: Exhausted..."

"A new remake of Titanic features Bruce Willis. Bruce saves everyone."

"Life is like a dry handjob. Sometimes its painful sometimes its enjoyable most of the time its hard but mostly your just happy it keeps goin"

"What's the difference between... What's the difference between dubstep and a fish on the floor? Nothing as long as you drop the bass."

"If your drug dealer is on time, it's a cop."

"The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop..."

"Went to the Doctor Yesterday... Went to the Doctor yesterday, he thinks I suffer from Paranoia... Well, he didn't say that, but I know he is thinking it!"