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Joke of the Day
"A new remake of Titanic features Bruce Willis. Bruce saves everyone."
Next Joke
"A guy walks into a bar... A guy walks into a bar and asks ""Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"". The bartender replies ""No we only have plain."""
"What did the leper say to the hooker? keep the tip. ;)"
"Text to wife: ""Would you bring me my "" and my phone suggests ""girlfriend."" My phone is trying to kill me."
"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"
"Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard."
"I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God."
"in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times"
"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam."
"What do you call a Mesoamerican unicorn? Unimaize"